In our digital world, it can be difficult to put down the phone and connect with others in a meaningful way. You may struggle to bond with family members who are distracted by their laptops, their smartphones, or their tablets. You can deepen the time you spend with immediate and extended family by encouraging your loved ones to unplug. If letting go of electronics seems too difficult, you can try integrating electronics into family activities so you can all still spend time together and have fun.
StepsMethod 1Method 1 of 3:Encouraging Your Immediate Family to Unplug
1Discuss your feelings with your spouse. Before you start imposing rules on your family, it is a good idea to sit down and talk to your spouse about how you feel. This will give you a chance to come to an agreement on what is and is not acceptable electronic use.Share your ideas about how to encourage your family members to unplug, but listen to your spouse’s ideas as well.Try making a list of what you want to happen regarding electronics in your household.
2Agree on a “no electronics” time. One way to encourage bonding in the family is to set a “no electronics” time once a day. You may speak to your family members and ask them to help you choose a time where you all put your electronics away and spend time together. Perhaps the “no electronics” time is set for the hour after dinner so you can all talk and hang out at the table together. Or maybe you all agree on a “no electronics” time on a Saturday morning for one hour so you can do a family activity together without distractions.XYou may all agree on a rule where you can only pick up your electronics in the event of an emergency. Otherwise, the “no electronics” time should be free of any phone calls, texting, or surfing on the web.
3Set household rules around electronics. To make bonding with the family easier, you can set household rules around the use of electronics at home. You may make a rule where electronics are not allowed during any family meals, such as breakfast and dinner. For the duration of meal, everyone has to agree not to check their phones or take any calls.Another rule could be not allowing electronics when eating out or when on a family outing. You may tell the family that they should leave their electronics at home or in the car when eating out. You may also encourage family to put their electronics away when you all go on a family outing together.
4Discuss the importance of unplugging. Talk to the family about how unplugging can help you all bond in a more meaningful way. You may have a family meeting where you address the use of electronics and discuss why it is important to unplug and spend some quality time together. Allow everyone to speak at the family meeting and share their perspective. As a family, you may all come up with some rules and guidelines around using electronics so you can all feel you are connecting in a real way.XFor example, you may say to the family, “I’ve noticed that we all seem distracted by electronics. I want us to feel we are spending quality time together and I want to bond with you all in a meaningful way. Can we talk about our use of electronics and ways to bond more as a family?”
5Suggest an outdoor outing with no electronics. You can encourage your family to unplug and spend quality time together by heading outside, preferably to an area with no cellphone or internet reception. You may plan a hiking trip where you camp and hit the trails together without the use of electronics. Or you may do a day trip where you hike in a large park in the city and attempt to focus more on nature than your cellphones.XGet the family involved in planning the trip so they feel invested and included. You may have a family meeting where you discuss the logistics of the trip and the no electronics rule for the outing. Give each family member a job or role in the planning of the trip so everyone feels included.
6Play games as a family. Another way to encourage your family to unplug is to play games as a family that do not involve electronics. This could be board games, word games, or a simple game of hide and seek. Try to play a family game with no electronics at least once a week so you can all spend quality time together and have fun.XDesignate one “Game Night” a week where you play a different board game as a family. You may also plan family hang outs on the weekend where you run around together and play outside, rather than staying indoors on your electronics.
7Engage the family in conversation. Connect with the family through in person conversation, rather than simply texting, calling, or using social media. Try to engage your family members in conversation at the dinner table or in the morning before they head out for the day.XWhen you engage the family in conversation, keep it casual and open. You may say, “What’s your plan for the day?” or “What’s in store for today?”Listen to the person speak in an interested and engaged way. Maintain eye contact with them and nod to show them you are listening. Then, ask follow up questions to indicate you are paying attention to what they have to say. For example, you may say, “Why are you worried about that test?” or “What are you looking forward to the most at school today?”Method 2Method 2 of 3:Getting Extended Family Members to Unplug
1Ask your family members to put their electronics away for a period of time. If you struggle to connect with extended family members who are really into their electronics, you may ask them politely to put them away for a period of time. Perhaps you have a niece who always seems connected to her phone. Or maybe you have a cousin who has a laser beam focus on his tablet. You may go up to the family member and ask them if they could perhaps put the electronics away for a few minutes so you can all bond as a family.For example, you may say, “Would you mind putting your phone away for a little so we can chat?” or “Do you think you could put your tablet away for a few minutes so we can all hang out?”Try placing a basket by your front door for people to leave their cellphones in when they enter your home, similar to asking guests to take off their shoes when they enter your home.
2Suggest an electronics free meal. To carve out some quality time with extended family, you may suggest that everyone in the house have an electronics free meal. You may have a basket set up at the front door where everyone can put their electronics and unplug for the hour long meal. Or you may suggest that everyone turn their electronics off during dinner so you can enjoy a meal together without any distractions.Try to get everyone at the meal to agree to an electronics free time so your extended family do not feel singled out. Having everyone participate can make the meal less stressful and make bonding easier for all.
3Start a conversation with a family member. To draw an extended family member away from their electronics, you may try starting a casual conversation with them. Chatting with the family member in an engaging way can help them put down their phone and connect with you.You may ask the family member questions about school, their job, or any other activities that they do on a regular basis. Talk to the family member about their hobbies or interests and ask follow up questions so you appear engaged by what they have to say.You may ask, “Have you finished that painting you started last month?” or “How have you been doing at your new job?”Method 3Method 3 of 3:Integrating Electronics into Family Activities
1Make a family music playlist. If your family seems to have a hard time letting go of their electronics, you may have to consider ways to integrate technology into your activities. One way is to collaborate with your family on a playlist using a smartphone or a computer. Create the playlist together, adding songs you think your family may enjoy. You can then listen to the playlist when you are traveling as a family or when you are spending time together.XHaving a family playlist can be a fun way to share your musical tastes with your family and bond in a fun way. You can also keep adding to the playlist, making it a common point of discussion in the family on a day to day basis.
2Play computer games together. Another option is to play games on the computer or through a computer program together as a family. This way, you can all still bond and spend time together, and not have to give up the use of electronics completely. You may all choose a computer game you can play in teams for a game night. Or you may take turns playing an interactive computer game as a fun way to hang out on the weekend as a family.You may try switching up the types of games you play as a family on a weekly basis. For example, one night may be computer games and the following night may be board games or an outing outdoors. Having a variety of games can keep your family engaged in spending time together.
3Share information through electronics. Share information with your family through texting, video chat, and social media. Send your family interesting articles online or interesting videos so you can all discuss them later at dinner. Keep in touch through texting so your family is connected on a regular basis. Doing this can allow your family to use electronics in a healthy, productive way.XYou may try to encourage family to communicate through electronics and in person. This way, there is a healthy balance in how you connect with each other. For example, you may send a family member a link to an interesting online article. Then, you may all discuss the article later at the dinner table to connect in person and bond over a shared issue.
4Play games that incorporate cellphones. Another way to integrate electronics into your family time is to play games that require family members to use their phones to play. There are trivia games and other party games that you can play using your cellphones as controllers. Check out the games that are available for your game console or computer.One option is the Jackbox Party Pack which includes trivia, drawing games, and fill in the blank games.X
