It can be a big advantage to be able to appear completely emotionless. Controlling your emotions can help you gain control of negotiations, avoid confrontations and even seem cool. While it may seem like it is easy enough to hide your feelings, it takes a lot of practice to look entirely emotionless. You have to learn to fully control your expressions, your movements, and your words all at the same time.
StepsPart 1Part 1 of 3:Controlling Non-Verbal Expressions
1Relax your eyes and mouth. The eyes and mouth can express a multitude of emotions. It is important to keep control over them at all times. The best way to do this is by working on your non-expression. A blank face is a look people use to keep others at a distance. You can see this face displayed in almost any crowded elevator. It’s like a do not disturb sign for your face.XTake a moment to consciously relax the muscles in your face. You’d be surprised how tensed-up they can become even if you aren’t experiencing any emotions.Poker players make an art form of the expressionless poker face. Study how poker players play without any indication of excitement or nervousness.Do not avoid eye contact. Avoiding eye contact can be perceived as an emotional reaction. Just look at the person the same way you would look at a chair or a wall.
2Watch your movements. Subtle gestures can be very expressive, even if we are not always consciously aware of them. This is usually the most difficult part of looking emotionless, and no matter how hard you try there is still going to be some small gesture that tells something about how you feel.Avoid any fidgeting, such as cracking your knuckles or biting your fingernails.Do not show any hints that you are tired by rubbing your eyes or yawning.Tapping your feet can make you seem nervous.Looking down too much can make you seem shy or sad.While most people can keep a poker face, even poker players’ hands betray them and it is the biggest tell picked up by watchful eyes.X Hesitant hand and arm movements can show your fear, uncertainty, anxiety or excitement. Try making only fluid and deliberate movements. Don’t move unless you need to. Then, move decisively and confidently.
3Maintain emotionless posture. Avoid showing any emotion with the way you stand or sit.Don’t cross your arms. This can be seen as defensive. Keep your arms relaxed and at your sides.Sit back in your seat. A relaxed, unconcerned posture is the best way to show how unemotionally involved you are. It also helps put more distance between you and anyone you are with. Leaning forward can make you seem eager or excited.Part 2Part 2 of 3:Having Emotionless Conversations
1Speak logically. Channel your inner Spock and try to have conversations that express absolutely nothing about how you are feeling. For example, if you’re out to dinner and someone asks how your burger is, tell them it is medium rare and a little greasy. Do not say it is delicious or gross, even if it is. Just state the facts.If you are asked a question about how you’re feeling or something that can’t be answered with facts, your best bet is to avoid the question by asking a question back. You can also try giving a vague or ambiguous response.
2Keep an even tone. Watch the pace and pitch of your words. Raising your pitch can be an indication of excitement or agitation. Dropping your pitch and speaking more slowly can seem like you’re uncertain or upset. Try to speak as though you are reading an instruction manual out loud. Dull, informative and without originality will go a long way to keeping your conversations low-key.
3Don’t use emotional words. Many words express emotions. Some are very obvious, while others express more subtle emotions. While it’s obvious you don’t want to say you’re sad or happy, you also should not say you’re determined, calm or indecisive. These words express just as much of your emotional state.Avoid using adjectives to describe words that will reveal your feelings. Don’t say a movie was exciting or romantic. Instead, describe the film as action-packed or dramatic.Part 3Part 3 of 3:Handling Your Emotions
1Don’t hang out with emotional people too much. People that are very emotional can draw you into their drama and make it difficult to be totally emotionless. You don’t need to cut anyone out of your life completely, but you may want to limit your contact with your more emotional friends.XIf you are out and run into an emotional friend of yours, always have an excuse ready to help you slip away without being rude. Simply tell them you have to go return some videos or something along those lines.
2Learn to accept things. A big part of looking emotionless is to not let anything bother you. Once you come to realize that you didn’t have the power to change most of the things anyway, they might not bother you so much. If you can give up trying to control things that happen, you will have an easier time accepting it when things don’t go as expected.X
3Desensitize yourself. Watching violent television shows or movies is the way most people desensitize themselves. While this is often debated as being harmful, evidence shows that watching violent shows can make viewers apathetic to human pain and suffering.X If you are hoping to avoid being affected by those kinds of emotions, try watching more television.
4Look at money often. It may sound silly but looking at money tends to make people act more businesslike.X Scientists have found evidence that looking at money makes us less likely to approve of outward displays of emotion or to use emotional words to express our thoughts.
5Find an outlet for your emotions. No matter how good you get at keeping everything inside, sometimes you will need to release all the emotions. Writing or playing music is a good way to get out emotional pressures, while other people may find getting out their frustrations by kickboxing works better. It doesn’t matter what activity you choose as long as you can release any anxiety you have on your own terms instead of having a sudden meltdown in front of everyone.
